Last night I woke in the middle of the night and wondered if it’s possible to believe in something otherworldly in 2020. Maybe my attention span is too shredded, my brains too cluttered. How many people believe in some kind of god by necessity rather than choice? Are there people who don’t want to believe in God but are unable to stop?

I envy the ecstasies described by philosophers like Plotinus and Origen as they contemplated the realm of consciousness and eternity. Whenever I try to do the same, I only make myself anxious.