The first leaves are falling, and I’m eager for early dusk and deeper nights. Last night I dreamt of hammerhead sharks. I was swimming away from a burning airplane and they swarmed around me, biting away pieces of my back and arms until I woke up. I don’t know what this means, but C. says it’s because I’m afraid of hammers, which is true. I have to close my eyes whenever there’s a bludgeoning on television.

Carl Jung believed his dreams in 1913 about an Arctic frost that blanketed Europe were a barometer of the energies that led to the first world war. I wonder if we’re all having more destructive dreams in 2020.

This afternoon I jotted down the phrase “negligent utopian energy.” I’m not sure what this means, but I like the way it natters at the mind. While running this evening, I saw three deer grazing in an empty soccer field, which felt like dreamlife glitching into reality. If I want to believe in symbols and signs, today gave me plenty to decipher.